Let’s Chat: Refreshing your outlook

Let’s Chat: Refreshing your outlook

Okay, don’t hate me. But I’m going to have a little natter about that “NEW YEAR, NEW ME” stuff. The minute it turned 2017, I saw a mix of two types of statuses clouding my Facebook. Either friends announcing their dreamy new year resolutions, or others denouncing their optimism and making an original joke. I don’t pretend that I haven’t been either one of those people at any point, though.

When we’re born, we have the potential to be absolutely anything. Our voices can make every movement and sound on the planet, but by the age of five we’re conditioned to speak a certain way, a certain language. We’re going to look like our biological parents, however our environment will change our appearance over the years. And we could pick up all sorts of characteristics and quirks but we’ll most likely find them from the people who surround us.

Throughout our lives we are conditioned. I know this sounds pretty morbid and black and white, but I actually think it is incredible.

But Becks, what are you even talking about?!

What does this mean? It means we have the potential to be absolutely anyone. Our human brains have the power to convince us of absolutely anything.

We may get caught up in cheesy phrases on New Years and we may even brush them off, but there actually is some truth behind that silly “New Year, new me” phrase. I have found myself surrounded by a lot of things in the past two years – mental illness, disorders, happiness, depression, love, heartbreak, loss and joy – whether that be personal or felt by the people I love. It has astounded me, and the psychology of it all mind-boggles me everyday.

A little personal…

I myself have always felt like a reader. To me, that means that I’m watching others live their life, but I often forget that I’m living my own. I get wrapped up in the emotions, stories and differences of other people and have to remind myself that I’m writing my own book too. Edit: look at me with my fancy little analogies!

I have found that entering my twenties (the whole six months that I’ve lived of it so far) has been quite an endless battle. It’s heartbreaking to watch friends struggle with themselves and know exactly how they’re feeling. What I’ve learnt from this is that perspective is quite literally everything.

What I mean is, I think although we are perceived a certain way, we have the ability to be who we feel like we are everyday. Being yourself doesn’t mean you have to be someone that your family or friends want you to be, it’s being who you feel like you are. I’ve found myself at countless dinner’s with friends talking about who we think we are, who we aren’t or what we think our futures will be like. We anxiously pick at ourselves and it’s probably the worst habit of our generation. Really, all we need to do to be ourselves is to breathe and take it day by day.

Gain some perspective

I’m aware that I can sometimes be a bit rambly in these types of posts, so I’m going to try to get straight to the point.

I think it’s okay to have a bad week, a mind full of bad thoughts or a funny five minutes. But you need to pull yourself out from that situation reasonably, take a step back and allow yourself to re-evaluate. I’m quite literally not an expert, but these are the three things I remind myself of when I know I’m being a bit off:

  1. What’s bothering me?
  2. Is that what’s really causing an issue, or am I looking at it in the wrong way?
  3. Is there someone I can talk to who I know will have a good perspective on the situation and understand? If yes, have a little chat.
  4. If no – that’s fine. In this case I’ll do something that’ll calm my anxiety or take away the feeling. This is sometimes as simple as opening a window for fresh air or stepping out of the room.
  5. Remind myself that it’s just a passing cloud and that doesn’t define me or my day, or even the people around me.

A bit of a recap:

What do I think? If you want to make new years resolutions, make them. You don’t? That’s cool too. Only put pressure on yourself to become a better person, but not to the extent that you’re weighing yourself down. Your mind can be your own worst enemy or your greatest asset. Only you can really choose how to look at things, even if sometimes it takes someone else’s outlook to give a helping hand.

I hope 2017 is your year, you surround yourself with people who are full of love, and you treat yourself like your own best friend. I hope these posts help somewhat – it’s difficult to contain everything I want to say in one blog post but sometimes I just need a mind dump. Much love my cheesy little peas xo

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